When people find out I have a bunch of kids, I often get asked the question, “How do you do it?”
I know it’s meant to be a conversation filler, but it kinda feels like a mix of pity and curiosity. In the past, I would awkwardly pause, not quite know how to respond, and shrug my shoulders.
Then I would internally think: “I don’t. I’m a walking disaster.”
I’ve been known to ask the same question of others: the mom who already has a toddler-then has twins, the mom building her own business, the mom who runs every activity at school, the mom who works nights….
Anymore, I don’t ask. It’s kind of a silly question.
The answer is simple. We just do what we have to do.
It’s like anything else in life. We build our skills; we learn more efficient ways of doing things; we stretch our capabilities and grow.
We learn to humble ourselves and accept help from the kind people who offer it, which hopefully teaches us a new level of gratitude, humility, and the desire to give back to others.
Once upon a time, having a newborn was the most difficult thing I’d ever experienced. Now I’d take a newborn any day over having a teenager. (Just like newborns-teens are awesome, but wow, the learning curve is steep!)
Building these three skills will help you (and me) “Do what we have to do”-and better:
#1 Practice positive language
Start to pay attention to your thoughts and words. We often don’t even realize the impact they have on our mindset and the outcomes in our lives.
I’m tired of considering myself a “walking disaster.” I don’t accept that anymore.
I’m replacing it with: “I’m learning.” “I’m capable.” “I’m working hard at it.”
Tip: What negative thought patterns are recurrent in your life? Replacing them with positive ones can make a big difference.
#2 Focusing goals for maximum results
You need to know the direction you’re heading. What do you aim to achieve?
Like Zig Ziglar says, “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”
Next you need to know what action steps to take to get there. What’s your road map?
Then comes breaking them down into manageable daily steps.
Tip: 12 Week Year by Brian Moran and Michael Lennington can help you improve this skill.
#3 Time management and prioritization
Fellow freelancer Osmond Arnesto wrote a great guest post on why multi-tasking doesn’t work, and he’s absolutely right.
To make prioritizing easier, I try to identify the “Big Win” for the day-one for business and one for home.
While I’m all over the place with how I’m going to achieve it (working on #2), my ultimate goal right now is clear-to be debt free in two years. I have some serious work to do on focus-the never ending battle for many of us, I think.
While I haven’t narrowed my goals enough yet, I’m enjoying the pursuit of each one, and for now, I’m good with that.
Tip: Try to figure out the top priority of the day and take the steps to get it done. If you can’t get it done today, what step will get you closer to achieving it?